"Sign here."
"What's it say?"
"It says if you die, you won't sue me."
"Ok, no problem, wake me up when they're done"
"Ok, no problem, sweet dreams."
That was July 22nd, 2008 just before my Craniotomy to resect a 2.9cm WHO Grade III Anaplastic Astrocytoma in my right Premotor cortex. The other two tumors in my right hemisphere were surgically inaccesible. (Since then all three have been concomitantly treated with Radiotherapy and Temodar. So far so good, there has been a reduction in mass of all three. Hoowah!!)
"Mornin' Peter how are you?"
" I feel like crap."
"That's to be expected, you've just had major surgery but you're talking, which is very good."
"(burble)"
Then we go through a series of physical exams where we learn that the left side of my body doesn't move. I can feel touch. I just can't wiggle my fingers, shift my leg, turn my arm, nothin', it's paralysis in the ICU, so what else is new?
"Your brain is swollen from the surgery, which went well, we're very happy. You are going to be transfered from ICU, back to your room."
Steroid and morphine drip aaah feels good, my right thumb works the button fine but only once every 10 minutes maximum allowed; too much could kill me. Somewhere a microprocessor is counting. Thank God for computer assisted medicine.
July 23rd, the left side of my body didn't move, my thoughts were there but my muscles wouldn't listen, because they couldn't hear, communication had been cut-off, the power lines were down. It would require Facilitative Therapy, my right arm would have to teach my left arm how to be an arm again, my hand being a hand, the same applied to my leg which would have to regain the strength necessary to keep from tipping over.
3 days later, assisted by the Physical Therapist I was able to walk a few steps down the hall, turn around and move forward slowly. A great deal of thinking goes into walking.
August 1st 2008 got past bunny ears to tie my shoe laces like I used to. It would take two more weeks to get the left coordinated with right repetitively. Typing until now, in this piece, today 2-23-2009 is still a solo right hand, dexterity is the next phase through facilitation. My left forefinger gets Shift Key duty. Typing with both hands is slow, clumsy but attempted as thought flow allows and fingers cooperate. Thank God for the backspace delete function. Keypunch didn't have that capability, nor did type writers.
Frustration levels have been significantly lowered due to technological improvements available to me now for my recovery. This applies abley to pen and paper. My journal has been replaced by blogging as my right hand can type better than perform cursive. It is illuminating that while the right side of my brain learns how to talk to left side of my body, the right side of my body is also learning how to connect synchrony. It has it's own impairments due to the drain by the disabilities of the left side.
Fascinating is how I feel about that which I learned in Biology about cells, in Psychology about nerves, I get to experience from within and hopefully will be able describe suitably for someone else to comprehend my stages of healing. This is going to take a few entries, which are therapeutic in themselves neurologically as well.
Okay, set the cane in the corner two months ago, left ankle, knee and hip function but lack strength, stamina, flexibility, motility. Must consciously remind myself that there is an environment over my left shoulder. Reflexes are slow, no snap on the left side, right side, marginal as if dulled. Short term memory for surroundings quickly fleets, re-look a few times to make sure and measure timing, as in crossing a street watching traffic or walking down a sidewalk with others behind me who can walk faster. There is an ungainliness to my gait, a sense of tipping, with a slight need to sleep when I blink my eyes.
The full tear in the left rotator cuff and the 40 degree reset of left distal radius fracture from the ladder accident of January 8th, 2008 are complications that require cancer mitigation first before reconnection and reconstruction can occur.
Radiotherapy caused brain swelling which adds to my Anaplastic Astrocytomas Adventure. Temodar affects the muscles, take a walk then take a nap. My physical capabilities are antithetical to what I could do one year ago. The last time I road my bike was July 16th, 2008. It's strange to look at my friend for thirty years hanging from the ceiling getting dusty.
November 3rd 2008 Concomitant Radio/Chemo Therapy phase ended. February 14th, 2009 completed third of six cycles of increased dosage of Temodar.
I Love Life, am glad to be here, it's a sunny 22 degrees Farenheit in Chicago.
To you and yours wherever you are have a
great day,
Chit with ya',
Peter Lott Heppner
