Fall for a Timeout

Fall for a Timeout

Since July 23rd, 2008 my Anaplastic Astrocytomas Adventure has taught me about instant paralysis, recovery, slow reflexes, talking to my limbs by looking at them to move. Thoughts are one thing. Actions are another.  Walking and Talking at the same time require either standing still and conversing or walking in silence. Not both at the same time, these  activities done concomitantly are going to take more time to learn how to do again.

My left hand, specifically my fifth metacarpal near the knuckle is sore from falling on it while getting out of bed.  Am deliberately using my left side to get in and out of bed for therapeutic benefits but, earlier today I slipped and wham landed just right to see stars and feel nauseous.

It is not broken.  It is just one of several close calls with serious injury due to poor reflexes, poor agility, poor strength on my left side.  I am not the physically fit individual I was a year ago.  The break in the left wrist, the full torn full rotator, the craniotomy, followed by  radiation and chemo have collectively curtailed my agility not my ambition.  

These falls are new in their severity. They help with understanding the trauma that can transpire to an individual who is experiencing, changes in their body due to age or disease. Am giving myself this timeout to write this status update.  What was at one time a spry person can seriously injure oneself by tripping and falling while walking. 

 Because of some my recent ridiculous stumbling experiences, the commercials about " I've fallen and can't get up"  are real. It is amazing how heavy one's body is when gravity gets going against a muscle or bone that can't handle it. Then in pain or weakness discover how living or being alone can be detrimental to one's existence.

Fortunately, Fantasies do float through my thoughts about being balanced and strong enough to be productive and mobile again; running, riding my bike, singing.  Working with my body in new directions.  I'll be slower, but at least I will be.  What remains is  for Tai Chi.

Peter Lott Heppner